


Space Needed

by Davechicken



Series: The Pilot and his Knight [45]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 18:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7812175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe isn't perfect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Space Needed

Kylo doesn’t want to complain, he really doesn’t. His list of sins is so long it would scroll across the stars themselves. He’s definitely Emperor of Glass Houses, and Knight Master of Stones. 

But. 

But. 

Poe ‘Normally So Wonderful I Think He’s A Droid’ Dameron… Poe ‘Your Mother Wishes He Was Her Son’ Dameron, he of glorious military success, of intense charisma, of winning smile and genuine caring… Considerate of quirks, gentle of hand, giving of time…

Poe fucking Dameron has done it. 

He’s. He’s. 

“I hadn’t watched that.”

“…you can pull it down from the 'net, again,” Poe says, not looking up from his astromech. He’s far too busy to look up, obviously. 

“I can’t. The creator hates it. Every version that’s put up is taken down in a matter of days.”

“Huh?”

“It was made in a rush, and it’s not canon, and it’s awful and I wanted to laugh at it. Poe, I’ve been trying for years to get a good quality copy! You could have deleted any of your cooking shows, but you delete my Holiday Special?”

“…it’s not Wookie Life Day for months, I thought you’d watched it and it wasn’t important.” Poe looks up. “Sorry babe. I’ll ask Snap to get another copy?”

But it isn’t the point, it’s… Kylo is angry. Okay? He’d put endless hours into his grey-holonet searches. He’s been looking forward to watching it all week, and there’s popcorn going cold, and his cheesy evening of self-indulgence is spoiled, now. He’s angry, and Poe doesn’t seem to realise how upset he is. 

Kylo wants to punch the wall. Or throw his popcorn. Or scream. Or… Fuck, anything. His anger turns inwards: cold nausea and repressed tears. He’s trying to be a better person, but it’s just the last thing to go wrong in a day of disappointments, and he chokes a complaint out, then spins on his heel and walks into the garden before… Before… 

“Babe?”

He’s shaking like a stoppered volcano, a pyroclast ready to explode. 

“Not. Now.”

“Babe… I’m sorry. I… I didn’t think.” 

Poe sounds suitably repentant, but it isn’t helping Kylo’s mood. He just can’t get the tangle of emotion to unknot. “It’s okay.” It isn’t. It is. It means nothing, and it means everything. 

“Kylo… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I didn’t think, and that was wrong of me.”

“I know. I know. But I can’t feel calm right now. I just…” 

A hand touches his back, and he stiffens. The contact makes his adrenaline spike madly, and… 

“I can’t… I can’t make it stop,” he grits through his teeth. 

“How can I help?”

“Just… Give me an hour. Please.” He feels worse than he should, feels disappointment in himself for his inability to control his own responses. “I just need to feel angry a while.”

“Okay.” Poe sounds crestfallen, but he backs away. “I’ll be inside. When… when you want to talk.”

***

Kylo forces himself through as many saber forms and training routines as he can, sliding his body through the extremes of his range and endurance. Screams inside his head, imagines bloody murders under his saber. Kicks until his legs cramp, runs until his lungs burn, shouts until his throat rasps. 

When he’s done, he slinks back into their home. Head down, and he sways and examines his boots. 

“Can we just pretend it didn’t happen?” he asks, mumbling into his chest. 

“Yeah. But… There’s still a problem; I really didn’t think and it was wrong of me.”

“I know. I’m annoyed that I’m annoyed.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind. I deserve it.”

“But not you…”

Poe inches closer. “Yes, me. I do things wrong, too. And being angry is fine. You didn’t do anything wrong, you handled it fine. We learn. We move on.”

Kylo shudders, and bites his tongue. He lifts his eyes, and begs for something, anything. Poe understands, and wraps his arms around him, reassuring and solid. The Knight curls around him and sniffs. “I love you, you know.”

“I do. Come on. I got a really bad monster movie. It’s not the one you wanted, but we’ll get it again.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

It’s a terrible holo. Kylo adores it. The popcorn is cold, but it still tastes good, and Poe is warm enough to make up for it. The post-rage chills rock through him, but the laughter gets too loud to feel bad for long. Plus, he’s going to demand Poe makes him those cookies again. He’s sure Poe will put out, and he _did_ contain his temper. So. 

A bad day, but it could have been so, so much worse. And cookies. Cookies are always a good plan.


End file.
